Recently I was asked to do something truly above my abilities. I felt completely inadequate and scared. My pride said, “Please don’t humiliate yourself. Graciously decline and ask someone else to replace you.” Yet, I felt that it was an assignment from God. Even knowing that, I still had nightmares and sleeplessness and an uneasy stomach in the days leading up to it. On top of that, tons of things started going wrong: a huge plumbing fiasco in my home, a broken dryer, our computer system at our office went down, plus several more unexpected big expenses and more stressful situations with extended family. It seemed as though I was living on the very opposite side of peace.
I opened up my Bible to Philippians chapter 4.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7).
I am going to be completely honest with you: I was praying and praising with thanksgiving, but I was still scared to death. However, I had an unshakable resolve to proceed! This deep down resolve, despite my fleshly fear, definitely transcended my understanding. No matter how much fear was attacking me, the peace of God was guarding my heart and mind to stay the course.
Here is what true peace is: submission to God’s authority; trusting Him despite our own (lack of) understanding. Choosing to obey God, even though our flesh and the enemy are waging a full fledged battle against us, is actually true peace.
I thought about Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane sweating blood as His time on the cross approached, but He knew what He had to do. That is peace, even though it doesn’t feel or look like peace. Can I just say, I am so thankful that this detail about Jesus is in the Bible. He was fully human and fully God simultaneously. He suffered to the ultimate degree, and cried out to God, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42). He demonstrated that obedience to God, although fiercely difficult, is the way to peace.
As for me, until the very last moment before it was time to do what the Lord had called me to do, I was as scared as I have ever been in my entire life. But the “peace of God which transcends all understanding” enabled me to follow His lead, and His mission was accomplished! Praise you Lord! Being comfortable is way overrated. I’ve learned that if my flesh is going nuts in rebellion…and the enemy is attacking…that I should not mistake that turmoil as a lack of peace. Disobeying God…now that would have resulted in a major loss of true peace (been there, done that).
I want to encourage you to keep praying, praising, trusting and pressing through. God can be trusted to come through strong, and do things that would otherwise be impossible! He is amazing like that. <3
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