For the past few years, I have been studying what the Word of God says about our words. I am absolutely amazed at how this has enabled me to avoid some major pitfalls. I look back now and think, “Wow! If I had said what my flesh wanted to say in this or that situation…I would not be enjoying this peace and blessing right now. And that is only because God’s word has the power to change me! :-0 Thank You, Lord!”
So I am sharing with you one of my most prized possessions: my “study sheet” on words. These powerful verses have helped me tremendously…in countless ways. I pray they will sink into your heart, soul, and mind as well. Also I’m sharing (again;-) how to overcome other people’s hurtful words. It is possible…I have experienced it…and I pray the same for you, my friends!
Study Sheet:
Proverbs 17:27-28
A man of knowledge restrains his words. Whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps silent, and discerning when he holds his tongue.
James 1:19
My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
Matthew 15:18
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean.
Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.
1 Peter 3:10
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Proverbs 10:19
Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
Proverbs 15:4
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Matthew 15:11
What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.
Proverbs 17:9
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
Proverbs 26:20
Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
Psalm 141:3
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Titus 3:1-2
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.
Proverbs 18:21
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 12:18-19
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
James 1:26
Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.
Proverbs 18:1-8
1. An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.
2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.
3 When wickedness comes, so does contempt, and with shame comes reproach.
4 The words of the mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.
5 It is not good to be partial to the wicked and so deprive the innocent of justice.
6 The lips of fools bring them strife, and their mouths invite a beating.
7 The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives.
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
James 3:2-12
2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.
4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind,
8. but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.
10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.
11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?
12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Proverbs 4:20-24
20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
3 Ways To Overcome the Wounds of Words
Sometimes people say some really mean things. Boo. Just boo. But I’m learning that some people don’t really “get” the power of their words. The fact is: “hurting people hurt people.” This is not a justified excuse, but it helps to realize that mean words are an overflow of a person’s hurting heart. Their words are not true, and they come from a false, dark place. Mean words need to be deleted from our “truth file.” Send that junk straight to the trash!
However, the pain of hurtful words is real, and sometimes it’s hard to get over their impact. I understand!
From a young age, people pointed out my physical imperfections over and over again. “You’re too short…not proportioned…your hair is mousy and thin…you have ‘problem skin’…you have ‘buck teeth’…you have a ‘pug’ nose and a ‘butt’ chin…you’re too pale…you need to lose weight.” This went on and on. I worked so incredibly hard to improve my appearance. For years I was driven to try to please and measure up…any way that I could.
I allowed my worth to be determined by the opinions of the people around me. I constantly compared myself to girls on TV, in movies and in magazines, and I believed I was defective.
This caused a chain reaction of pain: eating disorders, depression, insecurities and more.
But here’s the good news: our God is a healer! He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds. (Psalm 147:3).
I want to share with you 3 ways to overcome the wounds of words. Words that have hurt us…more than we’d care to admit.
1. Replace people’s words with God’s truth! People’s opinions are no longer the standard over you. Instead God is the only one allowed to give you your value! Psalm 139 says “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” And you are “His masterpiece, created to do good works, that He planned in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10). This renewal of our mind takes time…it’s a process. Satan would love for us to be so insecure about ourselves that we shrink back in fear of doing great things. I’m getting mad just thinking about it!! Sometimes we have to say out loud, “Satan, you’re a liar and you have no say in who I am! God made me fearfully and wonderfully and you cannot deceive me anymore!”
2. Forgive! This is SO hard but when we forgive people, we release the power they have held over us. Believe me, we cannot fully heal until we completely forgive. The best way to start forgiving someone is to pray for them. It is very hard to remain bitter about someone you are praying for. God’s heart is for ALL to come to Him and be saved, no matter how rotten they’ve been. When we get to a place where we desire salvation, healing and redemption for people…even when they don’t deserve it…our heart is aligning with God’s! After all, He’s forgiven us, and we must forgive too.
3. Speak words of encouragement and love to others and to yourself! God can certainly heal us from anything, but we don’t want to be the reason someone needs healing! There is a lot of power in speaking words of life over people around you…especially if you have suffered from receiving the opposite! This is overcoming evil with good! It is a choice to stop the negative cycle and defeat Satan! Speak kindly to yourself and others.
On the flip side, here are 3 things NOT to Do:
1.Agree with the enemy. If you tell yourself long enough that you’re all of the negative things people have said, it will become truth to you. If you constantly tune into the world’s views and ignore God’s word, you will be deceived.
2.“Stuff” your emotions, ignore them and never let God help you to forgive. If you do that, they will resurface one way or another. Unforgiveness/bitterness can cause sickness and depression in many cases.
3. Lash out and return insult for insult. This only takes you down a path of pain in the long run. Don’t become what you hate!
Your Heavenly Father is crazy about you! He created you as His masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully. Seek the truth of who you are in Him and watch as the lies that were spoken over you dissolve into insignificance ❤